Trust
by Outcast-Loser
Summary: How can he trust Ichigo after what happened? How can he trust himself after he failed the one person he promised to protect? Eventual IchiUri Yaoi. Angst, character death; Set after the battle against Aizen and the Arrancars.
1. The Cynical Shinigami's Fun

Okay! Another Ichi Uri! This ones a bit sad, tho... ^^; I put the rating at T, but it will eventually go up.

**Full summary:** Uryuu is taken after the battle; after a series of tests, he is sent back to the human world. How can he Trust Ichigo after what happened? How can he live with himself after he failed to protect Orihime? It was all his fault, and now he felt he was paying the ultimate price...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach. If I did, all your yaoi wishes would come true!! :3

**Warning:** Nothing too graphic, y'all can handle it.

* * *

Uryuu's body jerked on reflex; he could no longer feel pain thanks to the first injection. The room was dim, almost dark in the Quincy's eyes. All he could see was the shadow of tiles on the ceiling, machines whirling and buzzing and two empty silhouettes in the distance talking in low, hushed voices.

"Are you sure that Captain Yamamoto won't be angry? The ryoka helped a great deal in the Great Battle..."

"Do you question me?!"

"No Kurosutchi-sama. My apologies."

"Good. Now, Nemu, begin the process."

Cold, clinical eyes began to grab at him, clawing at his back. He could feel himself lifted and tossed not-so-gently upon the floor. His back hit the hard, soul-society type cement, and he arched up with a gasp.

"Uhn, what are you doing to me?" He asked gently. His voice was a whisper, rash and trailing off into incoherent mumbles. The shadows did nothing; they looked at him and then turned to face each other.

"I don't think he'll live through the tests..." Nemu said, her voice sullen and low.

"Should make for some pretty interesting results, ne?" A lab hand said.

"Now, now, let's see how our little experiment goes..." Mayuri said and Uryuu gasped when he felt yet another needle pierce his body. He could feel the hot liquid streaming through his veins, each heart beat pulsing it over and over. He wanted it to stop--wanted his heart to stop beating so he could no longer feel the liquid, could no longer feel pain nor live.

"If you die, young Quincy, I will officially own your spirit. It would only make it harder for you." Mayuri smirked. Uryuu gasped, the second needle shoved into his rib.

"Ah! W-Why!?"

"You are too fun to toy with. Beside, we are making marvelous progress and it would be a shame for you to die now."

Another injection. Some more pain.

"Besides, your spiritual pressure is equal to that of a captain, and despite being a Quincy, that is still quite remarkable." Uryuu couldn't remark, he was trying too hard not to howl in pain. "So you're quite an odd specimen. Using those bacteria I had within you our first confrontation, I will be able to finally answer the million dollar question: how to kill a shinigami without a zanpakuto."

Another needle, but instead of pain it brings Uryuu the sweet pleasure of unconsciousness.

* * *

Shivering. 'It's so cold...' Uryuu thought to absentmindedly. his body was cold, yet a thin sheen of sweat covering his body. he tried to blink away his blurred vision but realized it was due to him missing glasses.

"Ah, we where wondering when you where coming back to us, if coming back at all." Mayuri smiled.

"You!" Uryuu hissed in pain. He shuffled about, falling to his knees. "What have you done to me?" Uryuu choked out, clenched fists quivering under him.

"Oh, nothing you can't survive...I think." Mayuri said and laughed. Uryuu glared (or tried to) at his captor, cursing him.

"Bastard--stealing me away while I'm at my weakest." Uryuu spat out.

"Hmph. Strong words from a Quincy that begged a Shinigami to save him. Whatever happened to 'Quincy Pride'?"

"Tch..."

"What haven't we covered with you, Quincy?"

"What are you talking about...!?"

Mayuri grinned sadistically. He stepped closer to the fallen Quincy. His robe followed him, swiftly trailing behind him like another shadow. Uryuu gulped and got ready for the worst. There was a sharp pain, dulling and then nothing. Everything faded to a familiar pitch darkness.

* * *

How long had he been there? Those cold gray walls, dim pearl lights and cold tiled floors where a grim reminder of those few moments he was painfully conscious. They had him so drugged up he couldn't tell the difference between this hellish reality and his drug induced nightmares.

One thing was for sure: he had to get out of there. Uryuu felt his limbs tingle at the thought. He opened his pained blue eyes and turned on the hard futon. No one was there, or had been for hours. He blinked twice, and made up his mind.

He would escape today or die trying.

Uryuu tossed his legs across the edge of the futon and let them drape over for a moment. He took a deep breath and steadied himself for a moment. He looked around and found a blur, and , upon reaching forward, discovered the blur to be his glasses. He slipped them on and noted the thin scratches on the frames. it was most likely obtained when he was tossed into the room, the same moment they slipped off.

the Quincy didn't dare look around the room; he wouldn't need the details, he was leaving anyone. He found his shirt crumbled up in the corner, torn and bloodied. It would have to do for now. He slipped it on and left the room, closing the door to the past behind him.

"And where do you think you're going?" Uryuu gasped and turned around. Mayuri smirked. Uryuu summoned his bow, pointing an arrow menacingly in the Captain's face.

"I intend to leave," Uryuu stated, glaring at the psychotic shinigami, "whether you leave me or not."

"Psh. You have no need to be so violent, Quincy. You see, I am done with my testing." Mayuri's smile faded, his demeanor stern. "I have no need for you."

Uryuu's eyes widened for a second before returning to a glare. "What did you--" His eyes closed, the blue bow dispersing as the Quincy's limp body collapsed onto the ground.

"I said it; I have no need for you."


	2. The Morning After

Ishida felt a cool sensation overflowing his body, the sense of being shaken, but that was all. He could feel a head-spitting pain along his forehead, a jabbed ache in his side. Wait. Uryuu let his body fall back once again, only hard enough for his to hear the porcelain cling against his weak body. He was...but then why...?

Uryuu opened his eyes, wincing at the light glaring over him on the ceiling. He tried to close his eyes, focus only on the gentle pressure of the cold water, but two strong arms wrapped around his waist and yanked him out of the cascading water. Something soft was pulled onto his shoulders and another object, same textile, was draped over his head.

"Ishida! OI! Don't pass out on me, ya' hear!" A gruff, blatantly loud voice called out. Uryuu's head began to hurt, each syllable met with a throb. "OI!"

"Dammit, Kurosaki! If you don't shut up I'll kill myself so as not to hear you scream in my ear!" Uryuu growled, shoving Ichigo's face away from him. He opened his eyes, blinking while opening them wider and wider until he could finally see perfectly, or as best he could without his spectacles. Ichigo was sitting before him on his heels, arms stretched out while gently pressing the towel in the wet raven hair. He looked the way he usually did-eyebrows knit into a scowl, lips pursed and eyes ablaze with some unknown emotion. Something was different, though, and Uryuu couldn't quite get it down...

"Oh thank god." Ichigo sighed, placing his forehead against the wet one before his. He continued to ruffle the towel in the raven hair until two cold, shaky hands stopped their movement. "Ishida?"

"How-how long?" Uryuu asked. He hated how weak his voice had sounded, but he knew this was a delicate situation. He could feel the tension rising, the atmosphere thickening. "Ichigo. Tell me." Ichigo cleared his throat.

"Three months and a half." Damn. Uryuu's grasp strengthened on those rough, warm hands. It had been so long, all of it had been such a nightmare; but he had to believe it was real, it had all really happened. "Listen, Uryuu, what had happened back there-"

"I think I'm going to be sick...!" Uryuu ground out, eyes shutting and hand going straight to his lips. Ichigo caught the motion and grabbed the little trash bin, pushing it into the raven haired teen's lap. Uryuu puked into the plastic container, throat burning with the exertion.

"Shit. I hadn't sensed you in a while; I got worried, babe. I came by your place, I didn't sense you at all..." Ichigo rubbed Uryuu's shoulders gently, a silent was of saying it was all okay. Uryuu pushed the container away, lowering it to the floor beside him. "I even went by your dad's hospital. Guy almost killed me; and then I felt you faintly, as if you where half gone."

"What...What happened?" Ishida said faintly. His head was thumping and his vision was blurring more and more. He could hear a dim droning, like some far-away voice whispering in his ear softly but gruffly.

"When you return...you will not remember a thing that I have done."

"Ichi...go..." Uryuu gasped, feeling like every muscle in his body clenched, forcing him to coil up as if he had just been kicked in the gut. "What the-what's happening!" Uryuu grunted and he slowly fell down, side hitting the cold tiles on the floor. Ichigo reached for him but as the fingers brushed Uryuu's cold cheeks, the Quincy groaned in pain.

Ichigo retreated his hand as if the skin contact had burned him. The Shinigami wouldn't lie-he was seriously worried now. Not that he wasn't worried before, but now it was like…Uryuu was…getting sick with just his mere touch… Ichigo frowned. This was all too fucked up. They had just ended the war…and that in itself was a whole 'nother world of "fucked up".

"Uryuu, Let me help-"

"No!" Uryuu shouted, pushing Ichigo away from himself while simultaneously scooting back until his body pressed against the porcelain bath tub. His eyes where wide, full of tears and something else…as if there was an abnormality to the sapphire that was there. Ichigo felt like he was lost, this was way to surreal. Only yesterday he had cried, alone in his bed, afraid that he had lost the Quincy, his Quincy.

Ichigo was pulled out of his thoughts as Uryuu muttered something. Ichigo snapped his gaze into Uryuu's eyes to find that the cobalt had been almost completely covered by his pupils. Uryuu was shaking, mumbling and sputtering something under his breath, though Ichigo could not make a single word.

"No…P-Please…" Uryuu whispered, voice broken. There was a strangled groan and then Uryuu was sprawled out on the tile floor, breathing unevenly with his eyes squeezed shut. Ichigo breathed in sharply, unaware that he hadn't taken a breath in quite a while. He half scrambled to his feet and slowly and gently paced towards Quincy as if though the sick teen would wake up with any sudden sound. Ichigo scooped up the other male, heart skipping a beat as he realized that Uryuu was thin, cold and hardly breathing.

Ichigo cautiously ambled his way out of the small restroom, snaking his way though cabinets and furniture. He deposited Uryuu on the large bed, softly laying the Quincy down on his back. Ichigo stayed there, seated, hand running absently through raven locks. Uryuu stirred and groaned and Ichigo got up, throat constricting painfully.

"Uryuu…I don't know if you can hear me but…" Ichigo trotted to the bedroom door. "I'm going to go out really quickly, I'll come right back, Okay?" Then there resounded a click as the orange haired Shinigami opened the door. "I'm going out to...just stay here and don't over exert yourself…"

And then, like everyone else in Uryuu's life, Ichigo was gone.

…

Burning. It wasn't fire, it wasn't an outside force that was hurting Uryuu, it was himself. It was his blood, the air he breathed, everything burned his lungs, his heart, his entire being. Memories replayed themselves in his mind's eye, unbidden, unwanted but there nonetheless. Black and white, all of it was so blank and it was like a dream…like a film that was so worn and old it could only be in black and white. But there was red.

There was also a lot of red.

Red, blood, on the stone walls, on the white sand, blood pooling in the darkness of some random room where a person-either Arrancar, Shinigami or human-would cry out, plea to their comrades for help. No one would come. No one would hear them. Uryuu shuddered as things got more intense. He was being unceremoniously carried, more like dragged, across rubble, his stomach ripped open, his blood smearing the white stone floor, until it all turned into darkness…

Uryuu woke up with a start, eyes shot open and he sat up quickly, perhaps a little too quickly. Laying back down, Uryuu clenched his stomach and opened his mouth In a silent groan of pain. It seemed like his throat was being less cooperative in more ways than one. He heard a click and then utter silence before his mind registered who it was that had just left.

"Ichigo" Uryuu thought, or possible said because his throat began to burn more than before. Uryuu closed his eyes, allowing a moment of weakness from the hours of darkness that he couldn't seem to remember. A weakness he could now afford, since the end of the war. "Wait…It did end…" Uryuu looked at the wall he had been turned to in confusion. "So...what am I missing?"

Footsteps reach the room and Uryuu lied down, shutting his eyes. It seems as if though the person has entered his room because the Quincy can feel eyes boring into his being, scanning the room and then returning to him. It seems natural to believe that it is Ichigo, though these eyes seem more intense, more…cynical.

"Tch, idiot." And it is these cold words that Make Uryuu's heart beat faster in a sort of child-like fear. Uryuu wants to groan, wants to open his eyes and glare at this man, but it seems more and more like his body is starting to go lax. It goes against his very will, even when he shifts in the bed, temperature cooling, and groans out one single word, a name.

"Ryuuken." 


	3. Urahara and his theory

It's a childish fear that fills Uryuu to the brim, causing his already stiff muscles and aching bones to shiver and quake with a fear befitting the man standing somewhere within the vicinity of the dim, quiet room. He wants to shout, maybe even throw a _tantrum_ until the older Quincy leaves his apartment, maybe even his life in general, forever. Something is holding him down, however, and it isn't allowing Uryuu to move or speak, not even take a full breath of air. He can feel those hawk eyes studying him, looking at him with a ferocity of a hunter watching it's prey.

"You," Ryuuken begins, and, instead of the usual snide comment or soul-bashing insult, sighs with enough sadness to match a boy whose dog had just passed on. "Uryuu, what did they do to you?" Ryuuken paces closer to the bed, his presence still heavy in the room, energy whirling and throbbing in a dangerous whirl of bitterness, fury and sadness. Uryuu could hardly breath with the heavy energy dampening the already hard-to-breath air. "Who did this to you..." Ryuuken murmured, the remnants of plenty sleepless nights on his features.

Then there is a quick darkening of his senses, like a thin blanket thrown over his face, fading and shrouding but not completely dark.

_"You won't remember what I've done. And soon enough you will become just another tool of mine, an instrument of death for even the Gods of Death, Ne, Quincy? You've always hated Shinigami, you want them all dead? I am giving you your wish!" A harsh, brusque cackle echoes in the cave-like experiment room. "And perhaps the Sotaichou will command his minions for your head? Oh, I would surely enjoy that." A cold hand grabs the Quincy's chin, forcing hazy sapphire eyes to stare straight into the painted face and sadistic golden eyes. _

_The image reminds him of a demon from a child's book. Only it isn't, this is worse, far worse than any demon and the idea that, yes, this IS happening, bodes worse than anything. _

_"Best of all," the Demon continues, raising a scalpel to the Quincy's face and pressing down, dragging the silver utencil with clinically precise flicks and strokes" Even if you survive what I'm doing to you now, your soul will still fall into my clutches. Pray, pray you never die. Beg the Captain-Commander never sends for you. Because then? Then you will Never escape my clutches, Quincy!"_

Ryuuken was, by then, seated at the edge of the bed containing his son. He paused in his musings, his ramblings, and focused on the Quincy who's health seemed worse by the second.

"Uryuu, there was a reason I didn't want you to go..." Ryuuken leans forward to see his son's pained expression and feels a pang in his chest. "Your powers weren't mature when you first lost them, and when I returned your powers they weren't yet _stable-"_

-The door rattles and slowly creeps open, revealing a head of orange hair followed by a large man, and finally a hat and clogged man. Urahara turned towards the bedroom, his face hidden by the ha perched over his head, casting a shadow over his features. His lips threatened to quirk up into one of his infamous all-knowing grins but was halted by the thrumming energy that rose and fell at ease.

"Ryuuken-san, you shouldn't have to leave on our account." Urahara spoke up, making his way towards the bed. Ichigo sighs as Urahara removes the heavy blanket from the Quincy's form and inspects the boy's face, his arms and then finally pauses, inhaling slowly from his nose.

"Checking his spirit?" Ichigo thinks to himself, trying to feel the energies in the room. Instead, Ichigo's brown irises stare down Urahara's stern posture, his cold demeanor and the even icier thudding energy that is pulsing from his entire being.

"Tessai-san"

"Hai, Urahara-dono."

"Quickly seal Ishida-san's energy, put a restraint on his spirit and a seal to prevent any reishi in the air from contacting his physical body. I want bakudo restraints on his body, mind and soul. Can I trust you with this?" Urahara spoke in a rushed whisper, almost unheard by Ichigo. Tessai gave a curt nod and gently told the two to step back as he raised his hands over the bed, standing at the foot of the matress.

"Eyes that look but do not see, arms that grab but do not touch; the mind that dwells within our hearts and hearts that beat for none! Bakudo number sixty-three: Zenrei Kouryuu!" Plasma like chains ran through the ruffled sheets and wrapped around Uryuu's body, curling through his limbs and locking into place with silver sparks. Ichigo watched, mentally detached as Tessai continued to mutter and wave his arms, fluctuate his spirit energy. Instead, Ichigo's attention was on the Quincy on the bed. It pained him to no end to watch Uryuu's body twist and convulse as another wave of Bakudo flushed through his body and soul.

"So what did you see, Urahara-san?" Ichigo finally asked, slowly turning his eyes to the silent sentinel of a shopkeeper.

"It's awfully bad, Kurosaki-san." Urahara says mysteriously, head bowed and eyes downcast. "There seems to be no physical damage, but his soul is battered. The Chain of Fate that is severed from the soul to the body on most spirits begins to erode itself upon being cut away fro the body. As you recall that process may also lead to hollowfication."Urahara evaluated, pausing to make sure Ichigo followed his train of thought.

"Okay, I've seen that before." Ichigo nods, remembering oh too well how he managed to become a Shinigami after Rukia gave him power. "Please, continue." Ichigo urged, feeling a sense of dread and anxiety flush through him.

"Upon inspection of our dear Ishida-san here, I'm, to be frank, startled." Ichigo gulped. Urahara: startled? That in itself was unnerving. "I inspected his spirit waves and they seemed off, however I am unfamiliar with Quincy thus this can only be my own assumption. What startled me was that..." Urahara paused.

"Dammit Urahara-san! Just tell me already!" Ichigo snapped at last.

"His soul...it has no longer has a chain of fate." Urahara clarified, glaring dauntingly at Ichigo. "His spirit no longer has connection to his physical body, and he is in danger of becoming hollow at any due moment."


End file.
